[April 8 - 9, 2024] 

you believe so heartily that you deserve forgiveness. you try to reach me by saying you are sorry and hope i'm doing well. i was doing just fine before you got into my head with basically wanting closure and forgiveness from everything you did to me. it's the coming to terms with realization of what you did. the knowing and wanting closure but i am not allowing myself to doesn't always mean getting or receiving forgiveness— 

 

he reaches me through a new account for the purpose to reach me for closure and forgiveness after a full year. the pain he gave me. i don't wish you stayed-  i wish you never where creating this vision of tears and fears in my brain and past- because no to you always being first - 

 

you never said what you wanted to say - you always blamed me instead of consulting the other side - it was always you, your you. It never reached to you to not gaslight and always make me the bad guy. he believes he can be a healing of the past to the present maybe he can be I don’t want to be apparent of it -

the pain he lives in me is plenty.